True Friendship

Pope Francis recently admitted, “I have felt used by fake friends.” According to him, people he has only met once or twice have come out of the woodwork, falsely claiming close alliances with him, for self-serving reasons. Have you ever felt used by someone?

Perhaps you thought they would be your friend for better or worse, only to find they dropped away as soon as the going got a little tough. Perhaps your hopes for an honest and loving, mutually-supportive friendship went awry, as the other party desired a more surface-level acquaintance that did not go too deep or challenge them too much. Perhaps you thought of a friend as akin to family, only to find they thought of you as very separate from family, indeed.

No worries, Pope Francis teaches. It can be hurtful, but he reminds: “Friendship is something sacred. The Bible says to have one or two friends.” So we can continue loving others and reaching out to them, extending the balm of true friendship, but realizing that it will rarely be returned in the fullest sense of the word (as opposed to social media’s sense where we have hundreds or even thousands of “friends.”)

True friendship is not two people mirroring each other, or merely spending pleasant time together, telling each other what they want to hear. It is not simply “liking” each others posts on social media. True friendship helps both parties grow, which means honesty and authenticity are absolute musts. In a society lulled by facade, this can be tough to find.

In the words of George Washington, “True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity, before it is entitled to the appellation.” So cherish the impulses in you that wants to befriend others sincerely and authentically, even when they have trouble receiving that unvarnished attention.

Treasure the true friends you find, and be patient with the rest. Remember to be a true friend to yourself, too, and be ready to meet the challenges that kind of honest love requires.

One thought on “True Friendship

  1. At the risk of stating the obvious, a very thought provoking article for sure. It may be idyllic for me to say, that a Christian friendship would be modeled according to His teachings. Because we are sinners, we will invariably let our friends down. Ergo, our friends will let us down. For the non Christian, friendship may be built on a quid pro quo unspoken code. Like some sort of mystery coefficient based on their personal ‘formula’ that creates friendships, the allocation of their affections would thus be based. As a Christian, let downs are opportunities to strengthen our bonds with people. By extension, opportunities to grow closer to Him. It would be foolhardy to say that it is easy. But having this mindset in my opinion acts the solid foundation to building a network of wonderful friends. Love your blog, looking forward to more contributions. (Not sure you will be looking forward to any more comments from this reader. 🙂

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Randy Newman - You've got a friend in me - Lyrics

Tea - Mary Cassat
Tea – Mary Cassat

Your Catfish Friend

If I were to live my life
in catfish forms
in scaffolds of skin and whiskers
at the bottom of a pond
and you were to come by
one evening
when the moon was shining
down into my dark home
and stand there at the edge
of my affection
and think, “It’s beautiful
here by this pond. I wish
somebody loved me,”
I’d love you and be your catfish
friend and drive such lonely
thoughts from your mind
and suddenly you would be
at peace,
and ask yourself, “I wonder
if there are any catfish
in this pond? It seems like
a perfect place for them.”

—Richard Brautigan